"PS9" (PS9)
09/25/2013 at 15:47 • Filed to: Why Wednesday, NFS MOvie
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"PS9" (PS9)
09/25/2013 at 15:47 • Filed to: Why Wednesday, NFS MOvie | 6
| 9 |
This image was lost some time after publication.
How the flipping frackity freakity flapping fried fruit flavored fuck am I supposed to take a movie seriously when it's trailer opens like that? How? And don't say 'What movie, PS9?' because you know what movie. That movie. The one whose trailer got FP'd on Jalopnik today. The one that has no business existing. The one that's going to turn around the bad reputation video game based movi- ahahahahahahah I can't even finish that shit without bursting into laugh-flames!
OMG. OMG. OM-motherfucking-G, those lines. Those lines! Did Uwe Boll pull some strings and get his *drug dealing cousin's script fast-tracked though both Touchstone and EA? Those no-name, not-acting actors. Dat bouncing Mustang. Dem Adobe Premiere 95 flame effects. Dat iPhone 4 quality cinematography...
Hey. Let me level with you. I don't make movies for a living. I don't know a good screenplay from my asshole, like most people. But this live action movie appears to look worse then the game upon which it is based. I could be wrong. It could be all record breaking box office and oscar noms come this spring, and I'll eat my PS3 whole if that happens. But if I'm right, this epic level piece of greek god doo doo is going to put Super Mario Bros to shame. It might even put Sharknado to shame. No one's gonna wanna do a Video game adaptation movie after this turd gets flushed.
*I don't actually know if Mr. Boll has a cousin who deals drugs and has hollywood aspirations. Odds are somewhat good on it, though.
Brian, The Life of
> PS9
09/25/2013 at 15:51 |
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"How the flipping frackity freakity flapping fried fruit flavored fuck ... "
Filed! :D
BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
> PS9
09/25/2013 at 16:00 |
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Agreed, and that wasn't even the biggest problem I had with the trailer... I can't even begin to think what kind of story they'll put behind this. I remember there was always some sort of backstory in the games, or at least in Most Wanted, Carbon and Undercover, but those were just excuses to make you race. All the other games only had premises, no story. You raced because you wanted to be the best racer, that's a premisse, but I believe there's a good chance they'll use the same kind of non story for the movie.
Why?
Well, Because those little unimportant backstories were added to the games to make them more cinematic, but in the end, they weren't important because you still got to play something, the story was only flair. In a movie there's no gameplay, the story is a much bigger part of the job, and, if memory serves, they don't have one.
dropthatclutch
> BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
09/25/2013 at 16:07 |
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If i had to guess, then I would say that the race involving the hyper cars is the opening scene. He crashes, owes money, and has to start at the bottom of the wheel man or street racing scene to make that money.
Pretty much like every game where you start in the hot car, then get bumped down to the base level cars and work up.
Niquemarshall
> PS9
09/25/2013 at 16:14 |
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I was thinking the exact same.
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BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
> dropthatclutch
09/25/2013 at 16:15 |
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Yeah, that would be my guess as well... Or the first one, at least. Second one would be the movie opening with him having retired or given up his former life as street racer or wheel man because of a traumatic past where he either fucked up something or was double crossed (probably, given the jail shots and the "they took everything" line), until someone gives him the new car and hires him to a dangerous race/job/heist which could help him mend his past mistakes.
Either way, it can't get much more hollywood-esque
TeamJeep
> PS9
09/25/2013 at 16:48 |
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Pretty impressed...that every crash makes the car barrel roll through the air on fire...maybe by the time they get to the 5th/6th one it will be good #FastAndFurious
anonsagainstanonymous
> PS9
09/25/2013 at 17:10 |
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Huh. It almost looks worse than 200mph.
Team6.1
> PS9
09/25/2013 at 19:42 |
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What magical world is it set in where every single car crash involves barrel rolls and being lit on fire?!? Maybe by the time they get to the 5th/6th movie it'll be good #FastAndFurious
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kitchenaire
> PS9
11/03/2013 at 00:54 |
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This movie looks awesome